tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6110287296880368521.post899869388773253568..comments2023-01-17T23:25:12.024-08:00Comments on Last Editor Standing: How to Insert Action Narrative Into Dialogue Using Em Dashes Dan Persingerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09097061560311695573noreply@blogger.comBlogger8125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6110287296880368521.post-80495475540977970112015-01-10T13:16:36.658-08:002015-01-10T13:16:36.658-08:00I rather prefer an m-dash and double-quote to brea...I rather prefer an m-dash and double-quote to break the dialogue. And the action as a phrase, not a sentence, then a double quote and em-dash to continue the dialogue, e.g., "If you don't kill this story--" he got up and walked toward Dick "--you're going to find that employment of any kind is just a little out of your reach."<br />What's your take on that option?John Gordonhttp://www.summersbreezemysteries.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6110287296880368521.post-68499650529877501702014-08-10T08:37:27.930-07:002014-08-10T08:37:27.930-07:00No. We'd miss you, Earl.
The ellipses are fin...No. We'd miss you, Earl.<br /><br />The ellipses are fine, but they, as well as the capitalized stand-alone narrative sentence with a period at the end, change the way the dialogue is spoken. You have a pause.Dannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6110287296880368521.post-29550063857813361832014-08-10T08:23:44.108-07:002014-08-10T08:23:44.108-07:00Sure you could. I placed it arbitrarily at a place...Sure you could. I placed it arbitrarily at a place one wouldn't think of first when inserting something just to show that the narrative could be positioned anywhere the writer wants the action to start. <br /><br />Some writers just don't like em dashes for some reason and would lean toward avoiding them altogether and using a tag and a participial modifying phrase, most likely at the place you indicated, like this:<br />"If you don't kill this story," Tom said, getting up and walking toward Dick, "you're going to find . . . ." <br />It's less precise, of course, but the progressive tense of the modifier's verb does make the action coincidental to the speech. <br /><br />Up to you to decide when one way or the other is better. Y'all are the writers.Dannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6110287296880368521.post-8613012938687544482014-08-10T07:01:25.504-07:002014-08-10T07:01:25.504-07:00Dan, I've used this construction before and di...Dan, I've used this construction before and did it this way:<br /><br />"If you don't kill this story. . ." He got up and walked toward Dick. ". . .you're going to find that employment of any kind is just a little out of your reach."<br /><br />Should I be banished from the planet?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6110287296880368521.post-47241799097256032962014-08-10T06:32:15.573-07:002014-08-10T06:32:15.573-07:00I often find that your pithy advice confirms what ...I often find that your pithy advice confirms what I already knew or, at least, doesn't contradict what I already knew. But, Dan, you nailed me with this one. As far back as I can remember, I've been putting the em dashes inside the quotation marks (at least I knew to use em dashes!) in dialog breaks such as the one you describe. I don't know when, why, or how I learned to do it that way, but your explanation made me reach for the bible--the Chicago Manual of Style, 15th edition--and right there, in paragraph 6.90, is confirmation of your information. Now I have to break a decades-long writing habit. Maybe I should spend the day writing a story with several dialog breaks just to start retraining myself...Michael Brackenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01072019804281421944noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6110287296880368521.post-23416535565584736982014-08-10T05:54:49.141-07:002014-08-10T05:54:49.141-07:00Dan, I agree about the use of em dashes. It can be...Dan, I agree about the use of em dashes. It can be tricky deciding where to put them. For example, in the following sentence, do you think it might heighten the drama to place the em dash a little sooner? "If you don't kill this story"—he got up and started walking toward Dick—"you're going to find that employment of any kind is just a little out of your reach."Anita Pagehttp://www.anitapagewriter.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6110287296880368521.post-38404543098180827872014-08-10T05:06:57.962-07:002014-08-10T05:06:57.962-07:00I'm prone to piling on too many em dashes, but...I'm prone to piling on too many em dashes, but I never considered this correct and potentially effective use. Thanks, Dan.Ben Solomonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06459746396061028435noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6110287296880368521.post-90210907281095562572014-08-10T03:35:26.261-07:002014-08-10T03:35:26.261-07:00Both interest and useful, Dan.Both interest and useful, Dan.Jacqueline Seewaldhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09177500620940251009noreply@blogger.com