YOUR STORY IS YOUR MESSAGE: YOUR MASTERY OF THE LANGUAGE IS YOUR MESSENGER.

Tuesday, August 16, 2016

Multiple Paragraphs in a Single Instance of Dialogue

    I was reading a short story at an online literary magazine, here, a couple days ago. The author had elected to write the story in present tense, which I make no secret of disliking because a great many writers seem unable to handle the tense shifts. A lot of this particular story was a recollection of an earlier time, and that past experience itself contained a character's recollection of an even earlier time. Put another way, what I was dealing with was a tale with present-tense narration that incorporated not only a flashback but a flashback within the flashback. This sort of multi-tiered time-hopping is a recipe for disaster unless the writer is skillful in the handling of the transitions. One of the absolute necessities for accomplishing this feat is the ability to compartmentalize dialogue within dialogue, a skill that wasn't on conspicuous display in this story. It was pretty tough to keep tabs on who was talking in some of the flashback and flashback-inside-flashback. For me, anyway. Inserting an opening quote mark at the beginning of paragraphs 19, 20, 21, and 22 fixed this, but it reminded me of just how much and how often this point of punctuation gives fiction writers grief, including those who get published a lot. As seen in this example, the expertise to catch and correct this is not obviously present at some publishers, so writers themselves have to possess it.

    And this is how you do it . . .

    When you express a speaker's words in more than one paragraph, there's an opening quotation mark at the beginning of each one, but only one closing quotation mark—the one at the end of the last paragraph.
    There's nothing to it: just make sure that, when your speaker's words extend across more than one paragraph, you use an opening quotation mark at the beginning of every paragraph but use a closing quotation mark only at the end of the final paragraph.

    Here's a multiple-paragraph dialogue example, with explanations in brackets:

    “Flo Johnson will be at the party, and I want you to stick to her like flies on flypaper. Don't let her out of your sight. [This isn't the only paragraph, so there's no concluding quote mark here.]
    “Her sister will probably be there, too. Our best information says she doesn't know about any of the caper, but I've put Julian on her anyway, just in case. [This isn't the last paragraph either, so it likewise doesn't get a closing mark. Opening mark, yes—closing mark, no.]
    “I want you to remember that your job here is to observe and report. No matter what happens, you're to take no action. Do all of you understand that?” [This is the final paragraph, so it does take a closing mark.]
    
    Here's the whole multi-paragraph instance of dialogue without my bracketed comments:

    “Flo Johnson will be at the party, and I want you to stick to her like flies on flypaper. Don't let her out of your sight.
    “Her sister will probably be there, too. Our best information says she doesn't know about any of the caper, but I've put Julian on her anyway, just in case.
    “I want you to remember that you job here is to observe and report. No matter what happens, you're to take no action. Do all of you understand that?”

    See how it works? For a single instance of speech by a single speaker that extends for more than one paragraph:
  •    Each paragraph takes an opening quote mark, but
  •    Only the last one takes a closing mark. 
    You're probably thinking:: Jeez, you've only repeated all this about half a dozen times already. True, but there's method to my tedium. Most points of punctuation can be learned well and forever by simple rote repetition. And in this you've played right into my hands, al la Blue's Clues. Remember that kids' show, where the information was repeated to your kids--or maybe even to you--several times over a couple sequential days? Those reruns were examples of rote memorization. Seriously, check your brain. See, the rule for quote mark placement in multiple paragraphs, which is an extremely important part of dialogue punctuation, is now in your head there for all time, and you don't even have to try to remember it anymore, ever.
    You're welcome.   
      

Monday, March 28, 2016

Do You Write as Well as a Ninth-Grader?

     Aspiring fiction writers like to invoke the maxim, "Story trumps grammar every time." This is true . . . sort of. Storytellers break the rules of grammar all the time. Indeed, creative writing wouldn't be very creative if fiction writers approached their stories in the manner of authoring academic theses or technical manuals. But this implicit "literary license" for storytellers holds true only for the departures they commit deliberately at the behest of their muses toward some literary purpose. It doesn't apply to the mistakes they make because they simply don't know any better. A lot of developing writers extrapolate the notion of more leeway for creative types to mean fiction writers don't need to possess as much grammar and spelling and punctuation and usage talent as nonfiction writers because such talent isn't as important for them, because they somehow have a higher artistic calling that reduces such pedantic concerns to annoying side-issues. Essentially, that they don't need to be experts in the language as long as they can tell a dynamite story. This begs the question: just how in the blue perfect hell do they expect to tell a dynamite story without being experts in the language? Really, we're all sitting here patiently, with bated breath, waiting for them to explain just how they figure they can do that.
     My open question to fiction writers, then, one that wouldn't even be considered worthy of serious discussion among most journalists and nonfiction authors, is this: do you think a professional writer needs to be a journeyman of the language? More specifically here, do you think a professional's functional skills should be at least equal to those of, say, a high school freshman: a ninth-grader? 
     Hemingway sometimes wrote at sixth- or seventh-grade levels. The question here is not whether or not you believe you, as a professional writer, should always write at any particular readability level. No, the question here is whether or not you think it's reasonable to expect you, as one claiming to be a professional writer,  to be able to write at that level; whether you think you, as a professional, ought to know how to write at least that well; whether you think you should have the available functional language skills of the median fifteen-year-old American schoolkid.
     If you want an idea of what ninth-graders are supposed to know to become tenth-graders, and possibly an idea of whether or not you seem to possess these skills, here are fifty practice sentences derived from textbooks, class handouts, practice sheets, and other grade-level materials to help you find out. 
     Answers are here.
     

 1.  Many streets here doesn't / don't even have names.
   
2.  The committee has / have reached a decision.
   
3.  Who was / were the first settlers in this area?
   
4.  The dog and the horse is / are made of plastic.
       
5.  A number of the nails has / have loosened.
   
6.  Neither Marie nor Earl cooks / cook as well as I do.
   
7.  Many a decision has / have been made in haste.
   
8.  Both of the officers has / have specific duties.
   
9.  Each of the men raised his / their hand to vote for the proposal.
   
10.  The coach, as well as his players, is / are anxious about the game.
   
11.  We couldn't find Louis / Louis's saxophone.
   
12.  Macaroni and cheese is / are popular in school lunches.
   
13.  Kevin sent both Josh and I / me an invitation.
   
14.  We / Us Kramers tend to be on the tall side.
   
15.  He stared at she / her and I / me.
   
16.  Denise was depending upon Sheila and they / them.
   
17.  Shannon told us who / whom the police were looking for.
   
18.  Give the envelope to whoever / whomever shows up first.
   
19.  Carlos has already lain / laid the groundwork for the operation.
   
20.  Remember, we're having dinner with the Williams' / Williamses tonight.
   
21.  Lexington is fewer / less than thirty miles from here.
   
22.  We hid behind the barn til / till sundown.
   
23.  Exercising has had a positive affect / effect on my blood pressure.
   
24.  My grandmother / Grandmother is taking me to the museum.
   
25.  She remembered the conductor from a previous performance of The barber / Barber of Seville.
   
26.  According to grandmother / Grandmother, Dr. Kournikova had immigrated to Milltown from Bosnia.
   
27.  I've finally finished reading "The Grapes of Wrath" / The Grapes of Wrath.

28.  The article was titled "Yesterday is Gone" / Yesterday is Gone.
   
29.  Which one of you said,  "Charlie did it?" / it"?
   
30.  "Ouch" / "Ouch!" she yelled. / yelled!
   
31.  Which is correct?
   Harold will conduct the interviews Francine will meet the managers and Charles will guide the plant tour.
or
   Harold will conduct the interviews, Francine will meet the managers, and Charles will guide the plant tour.
or
   Harold will conduct the interviews, Francine will meet the managers and, Charles will guide the plant tour.

32.     Which is correct?
   Her low soft whisper could not be heard in the big noisy room.
or
   Her low soft whisper could not be heard in the big, noisy room.
or
   Her low, soft whisper could not be heard in the big, noisy room.

33.  Which is correct?
   The witch doctor wore a mask, of which this is a copy, only during special ceremonies.
or
   The witch doctor wore a mask of which this is a copy, only during special ceremonies.
or
   The witch doctor, wore a mask of which this is a copy, only during special ceremonies.

34.  Which is correct?
   Please try to arrive before dark; otherwise call ahead.
or
   Please try to arrive before dark; otherwise, call ahead.
or
   Please try to arrive before dark, otherwise, call ahead.

35.  They hurried to finish their / they're song.
       
36.  Its / It's a remarkable day!
   
37.  The children's / childrens' toys were everywhere.
   
38.  Your / You’re welcome.

39.  Even though I was tired.
     Fragment
     Run-on
     Complete Sentence

40.  He asked for a raise she got it.
     Fragment
     Run-on
     Complete Sentence

41.  She is a good mother she pays attention to her children.
     Fragment
     Run-on
     Complete Sentence

42.  When Alex calls.
     Fragment
     Run-on
     Complete Sentence

43.  He laughed.
     Fragment
     Run-on
     Complete Sentence

44.  Craig likes cars more than her.
   The sentence directly above means
     Craig likes cars more than he likes Sheila.
or
     Craig likes cars more than Sheila likes cars.
or
     Impossible to know from the sentence’s form.

45.  Craig likes cars more than Sheila.
   The sentence above means
     Craig likes cars more than he likes Sheila.
or
     Craig likes cars more than Sheila likes cars.
or
     Impossible to know from this sentence alone.
   
46.  Craig likes cars more than she.
   The sentence above means
     Craig likes cars more than he likes Sheila.
or
     Craig likes cars more than Sheila likes cars.
or
     Impossible to know from this sentence alone.

47.  Neither the students nor the teacher seems / seem to care much for Jude the Obscure.

48.  He’s one of those superior types who always needs / need to have the last word.

49.  Henry lay / laid around the house all day yesterday.
   
50.  Which is correct?
   We arrived at the McNameras house at seven.
or
   We arrived at the McNamera's house at seven.
or
   We arrived at the McNameras' house at seven.

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